ATTRACTION DISTRACTION

ATTRACTION DISTRACTION


I’ve been driven by attraction since my awareness of boys vs.
girls I guess. I had my first crush in kindergarten, flirting through
the monkey bars as he played miniature husband to my tiny wife.
There may have been a few respites when I thought boys were gross.
But mostly, every day out the door has been a certain amount about
the interaction with attraction. Out to attract a little attention at least,
or my perfect match at best. Always hoping to bump into my happily
-ever-after handsome hunk if you please, as we pass on the sidewalk
with a nice nod and then he’s gone. Oh well. I wouldn’t want to come
to the end of this quest quite yet in any case.
So I fall for every face cream and hair product and fashion trend that
might enhance my chances. And then I fine-tune my radar receptors to
detect my reception. I am not one to bitch about catcalls. Why complain
about being recognized as worthy of a whistle, after going to all that
trouble after all. I remember first finding out that I had some sort of
appeal in 7th grade when I heard some boys commenting on my behind
as I walked ahead in my seamless jeans. I was shocked by that initial
insight. Not only that I had a cute butt, but that butts were thought cute.
It was a more naive time, keep in mind. I wore those jeans as often as I
could from that point on. And was perfectly content to let all my flirting
go on silently from behind. I was shy. That summer while staying at the
lake cabin of my bad influence friend, I learned that I could make more
of the impact. Over a campfire I held a cute boy’s eye contact, and it was
that moment I had my first taste of the power of sex appeal. I had set my
sites, and it was certain, he’d be mine. We made-out that night - my first
time ever. I considered myself to be funny looking all through high school.
If it weren’t for my ‘fine ass’ I wouldn’t have gotten any action. But I grew
into my looks a little and I came to recognize slowly that there’s a lot more
to attraction than model beauty (or a ghetto booty.) What I had over other
girls was my approachability. Maybe because of how damn aware of any
attention in my direction. “Hello you too.”
So it continues. I have participated in night –life for a few decades, and
have kept my eyes open on each and every outing. Single or taken, alone
or with my crew, I am still eager to catch eyes with you. It’s hard to get
me out of the house without the incentive of some possible attention, no
matter how fleeting. And the answer might have to be no this time, but I
will always be honored to be asked.